It's torturous sometimes, this not being able to Not Think About Him.
I try to ignore him, to erase any thought I have regarding him. I try to move on.
But here I am again.
I had a dream last night. We were both standing at the bar, waiting to order from the bartender. It was a bar I didn't recognize, but it seemed we were both comfortable there.
We weren't there together. We just happened to be in the same place at the same time.
We stood at the bar, maybe a couple feet apart. Waiting. Waiting.
And then he reached over and took my hand. And I felt myself smile. I didn't look at him for fear that the moment would be broken. Try not to draw attention to it, my mind raced. Maybe no one will notice and you'll be able to hold his hand for a long time. Maybe all those people who interfered before will leave us alone as long as we stay quiet.
Maybe they'll leave us alone if we stay quiet.
This is what I woke up thinking.
