Monday, April 6, 2009

Touch

There's this guy who's been in my head for years now. Not in my head like a crazy voice, but a guy I know who I can't stop thinking about.

It's torturous sometimes, this not being able to Not Think About Him. 

I try to ignore him, to erase any thought I have regarding him. I try to move on.

But here I am again. 

I had a dream last night. We were both standing at the bar, waiting to order from the bartender. It was a bar I didn't recognize, but it seemed we were both comfortable there.

We weren't there together. We just happened to be in the same place at the same time.

We stood at the bar, maybe a couple feet apart. Waiting. Waiting.

And then he reached over and took my hand. And I felt myself smile. I didn't look at him for fear that the moment would be broken. Try not to draw attention to it, my mind raced. Maybe no one will notice and you'll be able to hold his hand for a long time. Maybe all those people who interfered before will leave us alone as long as we stay quiet.

Maybe they'll leave us alone if we stay quiet.

This is what I woke up thinking.


1 comment:

  1. "try your best not to smile at me
    it's more than i can take
    or stand in close proximity
    it's more than i can take
    i had my life straight before you came
    and now i fail to sleep through the night
    i fail to sleep through the night
    i can't learn anything from everything that's
    happening"
    -ballboy, 2008

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