Friday, February 18, 2011

I'm writing.

It's been a month and a half since I lost my job. In that time, I've sent out scores of resumes, done easily a ton of laundry, reconnected with some old friends I hadn't seen in an age and I've been writing.

That's the exciting part. Writing.

I hear myself say it like a grand announcement. Like other people say, "I'm getting married!" or "I just won the lottery!" I say, "I'm writing!"

Some people take it as just that, the announcement they've been waiting for years for me to shout out. Others, mostly those who haven't known me for decades or don't know me as well, don't seem to get the importance of this statement.

"I have something to tell you."
"What is it? Are you getting married?"
"No."
"Are you pregnant?"
"Still no."
"Ahh. You're a lesbian!"
"Wrong again. I'm writing."
"Oh."

I completed the short story for the competition and, once it was accepted by those folks, posted it on Smashwords. I'm working on another short and, when that's done, I'll work on a follow-up to the first one since the people who've already bought it are asking about what happens next.

The novel is still on my plate. It seems to have taken on a life of its own and I'm just along for the ride. The main characters seem to be doing things I didn't anticipate so that's turning into a bit of an adventure. It might be a series of novellas so heads up for those.

I'm writing.

The blank page is every writer's greatest adversary. We complain about not having a place to write, or time, or peace and quiet so we can think. We use these things as excuses not to write. "Oh, I've got tons of errands to run, dirty dishes in the sink, we're almost out of dog food, the back yard needs to be raked...."

But, when it comes right down to it, we're just scared of that blank page.

Here's the next part none of us will admit: when we do actually manage to get the words on the page, we're terrified that they're not good enough. That you won't read them. That the effort we put into getting them there in the right order won't matter.

Lemme tell you, I'm reading a book right now that's an okay book. Interesting premise, easy to read. Not great. Won about a gazillion awards. And, as amused and entertained as I am by said book, I can't help but thinking, "I could TOTALLY have written that."

So, I'm going to. Not that particular one, but another one. A better one.

4 comments:

  1. awesome - congratulations! and that is an inspiring post.

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  2. Thank you! I'm trying.

    And I'm writing.

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  3. Good for you. This year I am planning on getting my plans into gear as well. Glad to hear that you started!

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  4. "I'm writing, too!" That is the best thing to say, I feel.
    And you're so right about feeling like your writing is crap when you see it on the page. It's what stilted me from submitting my work for YEARS, feeling like it's never done.
    And good luck with the job search. It's hard to stay optimistic these days, I know. My husband was hit hard also but for now you can dedicate more time to what you love. I believe it's writing?

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