We're halfway through October, people. You'd best be on the look-out for one of the most Octoberiffic things of all: the Halloweeen House of Crap.
You know where they are. They spring up about this time every year. Cardboard tombstones suddenly appear in your neighbors' yard (as they did here fully two weeks ago), plastic witches and ghosts are hung in the trees, entire arbor vitae are draped in fake cobwebs.
As we've discussed in years past, there are certain qualifications one must fulfill to truly consider themselves eligible for the House of Crap title.
1. You must have some sort of illuminated plastic figure.
2. You must have something made out of plywood and painted by hand.
3. For the Halloween House of Crap title, you must have a ghost, a witch and something that resembles either a werewolf or a vampire ie., something with fangs.
4. Extra points are awarded for the sheer volume of your display: when I drive by and roll down my window, can I hear either a soundtrack of wind blowing or other creepy sound effects, or can I hear the buzz of electricity from the extension cords used to run all those illuminated plastic figures?
5. Something must be hung from a tree or a lamp post.
6. Extra points if you have something mounted on the roof (that is not a permanent installation).
If you're in the Portland Metro area, the one you really don't want to miss is the Davis Graveyard. These people seem to have devoted most of their spare time to the pursuit of the above title. It is not to be missed. If you're still unclear as to what, exactly, a House of Crap is, check out their website.
My personal favorite will always be the house at the corner of 51st & Alameda in NE Portland. These people go all out and they do it for every holiday. A friend of mine actually believes they make up their own holidays to celebrate just so they can plug in the twinkly lights. I'm not so sure he's wrong. Unfortunately, they do not have a website. I used to have a link to a story The Oregonian did about it a few years back but I seem to have misplaced it. Oops.
So get out there and find your local Houses of Crap (or create your own) and send me the pics. Everyone loves a good House of Crap.
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